I think that all of you know about them, but nevertheless again and again we fall into the trap: cultural misunderstandings. I got the idea to write about it when I was reading about the question whether people do or don’t line up, when they wait somewhere, like at a bus stop, for a counter, etc. There appears to be much variation. For example, David Fagundes (pp. 1187) writes: “Within some cultures, the practice of queueing … is taken for granted. Americans, for example, tend to take the norms of the queue very seriously, and treat them as having independent moral force… Sweden also ranks among the world’s highest-queuing societies... And at the height of the Nigerian oil shortage in the late 1970s, patrons at petrol stations waited in well-organized lines despite the pressure of a resource crisis... But not all nations take the queue this seriously. For example, concern for queue priority in Switzerland is low, and lining up is not standard practice when waiting for service.” Then a footnote follows: “One observer wrote, ‘[f]or such a polite society, the Swiss can’t queue. At bus stops, train platforms, and cable car stations, it’s a free for all. Scrum down, elbows out, and every man woman and child for themselves.’ ” (my italics; see Fagundes for the sources)
Is it true that the Swiss don’t queue? Physically maybe not as much as the Americans or British do, but as someone objects: “People complain that Swiss have no ‘queueing etiquette’ ... instead of standing in a line (like other cultures think is normal) we’ll just all stand around randomly. But each person waiting knows that ‘those people’ were before them when they arrived ... doesn’t matter what order ... and this guy came after me ... as long as he doesn’t cut in front then all is ok ... and similarly that guy is watching the woman who came after him... This seems like an efficient way of queueing...” And in fact it is, though it is not queueing physically but mentally. To my mind, thinking that the Swiss don’t queue is a clear case of a cultural misunderstanding: A failure to understand someone, a custom, habit, institution, situation, etc. properly because of a lack of knowledge of their society and ideas, values, norms and the like. It is setting your own stamp on other manners of doing without understanding them and their backgrounds well. It often makes that those other ways of doing are seen as weird, rude or in another negative way, and so as inferior to yours. And even if not seen as inferior, cultural misunderstandings can lead to awkward situations, avoidance behaviour if not to conflict.
Although the example of a cultural misunderstanding just mentioned is a bit surprising – since one could expect an investigator of a social phenomenon to have an open eye for possible variations in the phenomenon studied (and indeed, elsewhere in the literature on waiting in line I have found descriptions of such mental queueing) – it is understandable that in daily life many people fall in the cultural misunderstanding trap. Daily interactions are often complicated and to “reduce” miscommunications and “weird behaviour” to cultural misunderstanding in the first place would be a kind of objectivation of your communication partner and not taking him or him seriously as a person (in a sense!) and seeing that person as “a case” and not as an individual. Moreover, what is not permitted in one situation may be permitted in another context. For example, somewhere on the internet I found this example: “One Canadian woman with a Pakistani background told … she was always annoyed by the question ‘Where are you from?’ when living in a Canadian suburb. To her, it sounded like, ‘You’re obviously not from here.’ But when she moved to Dubai, she welcomed the question. Given that 90% of the people in Dubai are not from Dubai, it was a natural way to get acquainted.” Besides this, doesn’t mutual understanding need to come from two sides? Often it is reasonable to expect that your communication partner also has a feeling for the possibility of a cultural misunderstanding.
Some think that cultural misunderstandings have something to do with a language barrier. Of course, a language barrier can be a source of confusion and misunderstanding, but as the Sustainability Directory website makes clear, cultural misunderstanding is “a deeper issue that touches on how we perceive the world and interact with those whose perspectives differ from our own” and ignoring or not recognizing them can have many negative personal and social consequences, as said. One such a consequence is that “[c]ultural misunderstandings often give rise to stereotypes, which are oversimplified and often negative generalizations about a particular group of people. These stereotypes can then lead to prejudice, which is a preconceived judgement or bias against individuals based on their cultural background. When people hold stereotypes, they tend to interpret the actions of others through a distorted lens, further reinforcing their biases. This can result in discriminatory behavior and unfair treatment, creating a cycle of misunderstanding and conflict.” And once there, prejudices and stereotypes are by far more difficult to overcome and remove than by simply explaining and clarifying the misunderstanding, which initially would have been enough, before the prejudice or stereotype had established. In the end the effects of prejudices and stereotypes can be devastating for the victims.
I’ll end with a few examples of cultural misunderstandings, some serious, some less serious:
- Greetings: While cheek-kissing is common in some countries, including in case one meets someone for the first time, it may be unfamiliar to others from cultures where handshakes or bows are the norm.
- Business encounters: In the Netherlands, for example, meetings and negotiations must be kept short and to the point. Other cultures take their time before coming to the point and see this even as necessary because they place more emphasis on building relationships.
- Appointments: In some cultures, arriving at the time appointed is strictly observed, while in others punctuality is flexible.
- Communication: In countries like the US, UK and the Netherlands, speaking directly, openly, and concisely is normal and valued, while in other cultures it is seen as rude, and more indirect ways to approach your communication partner are the norm.
- Personal questions: What are considered personal questions and so not asked, certainly not in first contacts but often also not among people who go along very well, differs from culture to culture.
The consequences of cultural misunderstandings can be quite annoying to say the least and can have far reaching negative consequences, but who would like to have everything the same? And is your way really the best?
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