Last week my conclusion was that it is not our memories
that make our personal identities but that experiences do (at least, for a
part, for elsewhere I have shown that our bodily make-up is also important). However,
experiences are not independent of memories: How we experience an event we go
through or what we are doing is determined also by how we experienced such
events in the past or how we remember what we did before. What we think of a
performance of Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony depends not only on the performance we
hear now but also on what we remember of performances of the same symphony in the
past. And after we have heard the symphony several times, maybe we can hum even
parts of the melody: When we recall something we did or experienced in the past,
we get a better retention of it. When we tell others about what we experienced
or when we reread our diary notes, we keep what we lived through better in the
mind. On the other hand, we tend to forget what we don’t repeat. One important way
for reviving memories is looking at old photos. When we see them again, usually
we know what we did then, and in case we have taken the photos ourselves, we
can often also tell how we have taken them and where we stood. However, we tend
to forget what we don’t repeat by such artificial means or otherwise. What is
not in a photo, gradually vanishes from the memory. What is in a photo is
highlighted and determines the recollection of the doing or event.
In these days of the internet we share our life
experiences increasingly via the social media. Of course, we leave out what we
don’t want to share and we share only what we see as highlights or worth to
mention. Therefore, as Julia Shaw says in her book on memory quoted last week:
“remembering life events through social media is going to enhance memories for
those particular events” (pp. 213-4). However, publishing life events in the
social media is not a neutral affair. As said, we don’t share everything, but
we select. Moreover we present what we present there in a certain way: We don’t
share how we are but how we want to be seen. We don’t present in social media our
selves but our better selves and our improved selves, on purpose or
unconsciously. But since bringing back memories is selective, especially when
it happens with artificial means, like photos, in fact we get a distortion of
reality. This is the more so, when we bring back memories via what we have
uploaded in the social media. This has important consequences for the
self-image. As Shaw says, “[w]hat is different about social media is that the
prompts are being selected from your online persona so they already represent a
distorted, social media appropriate, version of your life. This amounts to a
double distortion – distorting the memory in your brain with a previously
distorted memory from your online persona.” Even if we originally knew that we
are not the way as presented in the social media, in the end we tend to believe
in it.
“By having the social media dictate which
experiences count as the most meaningful in our lives”, so Shaw goes on, “it is
potentially culling the memories that are considered less shareable.
Simultaneously it is reinforcing the memories collectively chosen as the most
likeable, potentially making some memories seem more meaningful and memorable
than they originally were. Both of these are problematic processes that can
distort our personal reality.” (p. 215) When this happens it is no longer that
we shape ourselves in the social media but that the social media shape us. Then
it’s the social media that shape our personalities, even if these personalities
are distorted, and by that they shape our personal identities.
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